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[03 Dec 2009|08:02am] |
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music |
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Sweet Caroline - Glee Cast |
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The last month of 2009 has begun, and I can't believe that the year will be over in less than 30 days. This year has been tumultuous for me to say the least - I survived submitting my undergraduate thesis, graduating from college, joining A-DWTL, ending a nearly four-year-long relationship, losing friends, getting through my first two semesters in medschool, being left behind, making new friends, and taking on new responsibilities. Suffice it to say, it has been both the longest and shortest year of my life so far. Things happen so quickly and the speend and magnitude of these events have left me with little room to breathe. At the same time, it's been an opportunity to really think about things. To go back to living in my head as I've always done.
Since the semestral break last October, I've been looking back on the archives of this journal and marveling at everything I'd written down. It was a very different time for me. It was a very different me. Experiencing 2009 has mas made me really think about all the changes I've gone through over the years and whether or not they're changes I like. Throughout it all, what I've learned to be most thankful for in 2009 is how it reminded me of possibilities.
I'm thankful to be reminded of possibility - the possiblity of change, and the possibility of staying the same. It's good to remember that the bad things can get better and the good things can stay the same. Which isn't to say that I've chosen to be optimistic about this and focus on that. On the downside, the things I love and hold dear can (and do) fade away, and what I've got good might probably won't always be good. It's a fine line to tread between hope and caution. And lately, I've been erring on the side of caution, but I don't want to lose sight of hope. It's cliched but true: Hope for the best, but always always be prepared for the worst. Make the most of the present. They're bittersweet lessons I've lost sight of, and am glad to remember.
I've been so complacent for so long that I've forgotten that it's possible to be surrounded by comfort and excitement at the same time. I've been so firmly entrenched in a comfort zone that I've grown boring. With the loss of that comfort zone, I may be a great deal more lobely, but I'm learning to be so much more dynamic and adaptable. I'm challenged and exhilarated everyday, and I'm learning to find comfort in other places, other people. To be aware of these possibilities, I'm so thankful.
I'm grateful for 2009, but of course, I'm excited for its end as well. To be open to 2010, in every way, is what 2009 has taught. I want to make the most of this.
(My entry to Avalon.ph's Win a Moleskine Colour a Month Daily Planner contest)
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[12 Feb 2008|11:51pm] |
You are the moment when the last bell rings and school lets out for the day. You are resistant to schedules and obligations, so you love feeling like you're in control of your life again. You are the very moment when the second hand hits the 12, and the halls fill with noise and motion. Even if your after-school time is packed with activities, lessons, or a job, somehow, you just feel freer in the late afternoon than you do earlier in the day. Maybe it's all that blue sky and afternoon sunshine? Nah -- even on rainy days, 3:15 is always a beautiful time.
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[31 Dec 2007|06:11pm] |
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All right, so I haven't done this year-ender post thing since... I dunno high school? Like a lot of things, there's a reason for that. I guess I don't really like how much my life has changed and what it changed into. There have been wonderful things gained, but also a lot of wonderful things lost. Citing everything now would remind me of how much I've gained, but it would also remind me of what I've lost. And I can't bear to remember that. It's been a period of great loss for me. And quite frankly, I don't know how to get any of it back. Or whether I can even get any of it back. So there. I've allowed myself to just lurk silently. But I think the time has passed for silence. I'd rather remember and be sad, then forget everything and be indifferent. It's always better to feel right? And there have been awesome experiences. Awesome feelings. It's been an... interesting three years of silence to say the least.
So I'm going to take a very dear person's advice and start looking forward. The past has always been important to me, and it probably always will. But it's time to stop dwelling on it, and start moving on. So that's what I'm going to do.
But I'm in no rush. Baby steps as always, better slow so as not to forget.
So here's my first step.
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[14 Dec 2007|11:21pm] |
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mood |
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 loved |
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Seven airplanes flew overhead tonight, while I lay on the Ateneo grass, staring at the sky.
Seven. =)
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| happiness is... |
[28 Nov 2007|08:29pm] |
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mood |
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procrastinating |
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music |
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My Favourite Book - Stars |
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Tagged by ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) hamster_friend
The rules are easy, just post 10 things that recently made you happy! Then tag 10 people and force them to post this meme on their LJs. Because it is good. Everyone needs a little happiness once in a while.
1. just some guy. XD
2. my two birthday gifts: this
3. and the 4 rolls of film Jem gave me.
4. riding shotgun next to awesome friends, awesome people.
5. mafracati and imstuck being able to come on the 1st!
6. Sebastian's ice cream in Dublin Fudge. Mmmmmmm. and the people I shared the pint with, of course.
7. a great birthday celebration with Anna and the_introverted
8. Eastwood adventures with ijustplaytragic and the_introverted
9. two new pairs of pants! a gray tailored banana republic pair, and a pair of semi-flared arden b. jeans. yay for relatives abroad.
10. just getting to laugh a little everyday.
I tag _stillframe_, the_introverted, too_lazy, mafracati, ce_tu_fein, typedup, knhyms, quixotic_eyes, im_stuck, and ryvaeus
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[11 Nov 2007|06:52pm] |
You were an investment trap I didn't see coming.
And now I've lost. Big time.
It hurts enough to make me emo. I'm emo enough to make me mad. I'm mad enough to be even more emo. It's a sadsadcycle.
Boo.
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| the art of losing. |
[08 Nov 2007|08:37pm] |
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music |
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Stolen - Dashboard Confessional feat. Juli |
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Where have all my words gone?
Anyway, I know I've posted this before, but it deserves to be posted again.
The art of losing isn't hard to master;
so many things seem filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster.
Lose something every day. Accept the fluster
of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.
Then practice losing farther, losing faster:
places, and names, and where it was you meant
to travel. None of these will bring disaster.
I lost my mother's watch. And look! my last, or
next-to-last, of three loved houses went.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.
I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,
some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.
I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster.
---Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture
I love) I shan't have lied. It's evident
the art of losing's not too hard to master
though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster.
One Art, Elizabeth Bishop
for those I have lost,
and for those who know loss
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| i'm loffing this. |
[04 Nov 2007|11:12pm] |
Telepathic links and new restaurants.
Web comic-able lives and crazy bedhair.
Morning chats and evening chats.
Commiseration and empathy.
Orneryboy and Butternutsquash.
Guyfriends are love.
Little ones are love.
Webcomics are love.
There's hope for November after all. =)
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[08 Oct 2007|02:18am] |
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mood |
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 procrastinating |
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music |
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Stolen - Dashboard Confessional feat. Juli |
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Just a little bit more and I'll be able to move the way this picture does. Slowly, softly, just letting the world pass me by without a hint of that familiar urgency.
More photos here
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| latest purchase! |
[24 Sep 2007|04:20am] |
I bought myself a new toy from the LS bookstore - this really cool heavy duty cutter. Yeah! It'll be put to good use when I go craftsy and art attack-y this sembreak. Woohoo! Cuttercuttercutter! I think I'll name it. LOL. ♥
EDIT: Uh, I needed the cutter to make my stubs and dependent measure sheets. Just wanted to clarify. XD
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[11 Sep 2007|05:04am] |
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Sorry na. Jesus Christ.
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| maarte daw. |
[10 Sep 2007|06:00am] |
Stupid people judge real quickly. Lalo na yung mga taong nagmamataas.
Sorry na. Maarte daw.
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[27 Aug 2007|05:41am] |
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I want to try making my own cheese.
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| PMS interlude. |
[26 Aug 2007|06:13am] |
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WHATEVERWHATEVERWHATEVERWHATEVERWHATEVERWHATEVERWHATEVERWHATEVERWHATEVERWHATEVERWHATEVERWHATEVERWHATEVERWHATEVERWHATEVERWHATEVERWHATEVERWHATEVERWHATEVERWHATEVERWHATEVERWHATEVERWHATEVERWHATEVERWHATEVERWHATEVERWHATEVERWHATEVERWHATEVERWHATEVERWHATEVERWHATEVERWHATEVERWHATEVER.
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[26 Aug 2007|05:07am] |
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mood |
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 pms-y |
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I used to always think that personal happiness was simply a choice, that we are sad because we choose not to be happy. I'm starting to re-think that opinion. I mean, most people would choose to be happy, right? Then how come so many people aren't?
( Rambling ahead about a whole lotta maybe's )
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[23 Aug 2007|12:01pm] |
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Hay. I don't think I've ever been this sorry to be wrong about someone. Ganun talaga siguro with groupmates and friends. I guess they don't mix. Some tend to sell you out when things go wrong. And in the end, you really only have yourself to blame because you trusted them in the first place. Ewan. It's disheartening. Frustrating. The worst part is that its too late to change anything. I'm stuck with that person for the rest of the sem. Jesus Christ, help me.
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| 082007♥ |
[20 Aug 2007|09:00am] |
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The clouds have parted. My ray of sunlight is back. Here's to better-weather days. =)
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[19 Aug 2007|07:59pm] |
It's time for another 10 Day Program. But before that, one regret -
I should've bought that Indie Manila accordion notebook. It would've been nice to have something to want to give to you. Ah well.
Ten Day Program starts today. Here we go.
Day One.
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